“Sometimes I think I’m too picky. “I don’t have the energy to pretend to like you today.”, 15. “If you’re waiting for me to give a shit, you better pack a lunch. 117.

We find ourselves using sarcastic quotes or remarks usually when we deal with our friends and family members. 200. Smart people don’t plan big moves out loud.”, 43. 215. If you find it hard to laugh at yourself, I would be happy to do it for you. 163. Listen, I’m a nice person.

158. I am busy right now, can I ignore you some other time? What doesn’t kill you, disappoints me.

I realized I can do so much without you. People say I act like I don’t care. Oh, my bad.

I’ll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
“My neighbor’s diary says that I have boundary issues.”, 38. Love is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.

#1.

Never argue with stupid people, they will drag you down to their level and then beat you with experience. A boy is hammering nails into the table: 60. Include you.

You, sir, are the human version of period cramps.

YourTango Quotes | Words | Sayings → Retro Humor Funny Mom Quotes Funny Memes Humour Quotes Funny Quotes About Women Funny Quotes For Work Funny Quotes … One of the best quotes I got to see online. “Sarcasm is the secret language that everyone uses when they want to say something mean to your face.”, 25. Excuse me, which level of hell is this? 4. We hope you have fun reading them! Don’t worry about what I’m doing.

But I would unplug your life support to charge my phone. The B..ch Slap. 60 Funny Blonde Jokes – Dose of Really Funny Jokes, 45 Hilariously Funny Minion Pictures With Quotes, 38 Sarcastic Inspirational Quotes Celebrating Life & Success, Your email address will not be published.

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“Me to my children: I would kill and die for you also me to my children: I am not your damn maid and will burn all the shit on your bedroom floors in a massive bonfire and dance around the flames in glory and rage” 23. An apple a day keeps anything away if you throw it hard enough.

“Don’t confuse my personality with my attitude. “When people ask me stupid questions, it is my legal obligation to give a sarcastic remark.”. “Light travels faster than sound.

“Let’s face it – some people drain the nice right out of you.”, 61. Do it twice, and take pictures.”, 42. Too bad you couldn’t find it in your size.

You’re the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo. 84. If you want to know why sarcasm has now become a meaningful way to express one’s feelings, you have to familiarize yourself with them. 94.

111. “Just because you have one doesn’t mean you have to act like one.”, 35.

178. Just because the voices only talk to me, doesn’t mean you should get all jealous.

“It’s never too late to get your shit together.”, 37. I take super-hot showers to practice burning in hell. You’d be in good shape, if you ran as much as your mouth. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. 204.

7.

You are the result of 4 billion years of evolution. If you wrote down every single thought you ever had, you would get an award for the shortest story ever.. 52. 89. “If you wrote down every single thought you ever had you would get an award for the shortest story ever.”, 78.

The whole purpose of sending a text is to get a reply within seconds or minutes, otherwise, I would have sent a letter by fucking mail.

Probably got mad at something… Sighed heavily.

“Nothing makes a person more productive than the last minute.”, 2. Write CSS OR LESS and hit save.

“Always remember that you’re unique. Well, that comes from poor judgment. I found one of the best places , lol even tho there were doubles I’ll definitely say some of these to my enemy and set on as my background, Smh with laughter…..this list help lightened my anger towards my fiancé thank youuuu lol, These quotes are awesome!!

I have to stop saying how stupid you can be. I’m on a seafood diet. 71.

Nope.

I have to go back tomorrow. Well, historically, better.

Adventures in Dating: Memoirs of a Single Mom, Adventures in Dating: Memoirs of Midlife Relationships. Could you at least start using lubricant?

198. 24.

148.

120. A person who constantly asks for your advice, yet always does the opposite of what you told them. I’m just not necessarily excited about your existence. Just like everyone else.”, 26.

107. I love sarcasm.

You’re still a b..ch. Duct tape is silver.”, 27. 214. Inspiring soccer quotes, Rumi quotes, Stephen Curry quotes, Quotes on being single, Popular depression quotes, Good morning quotes, Monday quotes, Cancer quotes, Mother and daughter quotes, and others. Tell me.

126. Their dogs.

Warning. I didn’t tell you. Sometimes I need expert advice. It’s a door.

Bad people give you experience.

– Steven Wright. “When life shuts a door … open it again. 130.

107 Inspirational Cancer Quotes: Beating & Surviving, Words of Encouragement and Encouraging Quotes.

145.

My attitude in exams.

Sometimes it’s not the people who change, it’s the mask that falls off. And when I’m happy, I like to bake cookies and shit. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.

Not all girls are made of sugar and spice and everything nice. 118. So thanks, suck a d..ck or whatever.

Top 80 Sarcastic Quotes. “Remember, if you can’t say anything nice… Make it funny”, 49. Top 30 Most funniest Sarcasm quotes #best.

Yeah me neither. What a funny list of sarcastic quotes. 19. “It’s okay if you don’t like me. 1. “If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ.”, 13. "With the greatest respect." I’m sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. 190.

“You look good when your eyes are closed, but you look the best when my eyes closed.”, 5. True bonding is when you and your friends are all angry about the same thing. “Thank you for leaving my side when I was alone.

Don’t argue with fools, because people from a distance can’t tell which one is you.

Some people will only like you if you fit inside their box.

Me: Oh no, I couldn’t take the last piece. There is a mistake in the text of this quote. 160. People who reply to my sarcasm with sarcasm are my favorite.

I breathed a lot. 127. We’ve compiled a list of top 80 funny sarcastic sayings and awesome quotes about sarcasm.

217. For a circle. I’m just intelligent beyond your understanding.”, 44. Some cause happiness wherever they go; others, whenever they go.

My girlfriend is so good at playing hide and seek. Here let me drop what’s important to me and pay attention to you and all of your needs.

Oh, you hate me? Need money for college. They don’t do it very often.”, 40. I find television very educating. Last week, I decided to collect as many sarcastic and funny remarks as I could, just for the fun of it.

When something goes wrong in your life, just yell “Plot Twist” and move on.

Follow AzQuotes on Facebook, Twitter and Google+. Don’t judge a book by its cover.

View our collection of the 65 best short and funny motivational quotes to laugh about.

Of course, I talk to myself.

It knows how to break your legs, and then hand you a crutch and say, "See if it weren't for the government, you wouldn't be able to walk". Keep rolling your eyes.

“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”, 41.

Sure I’ll help you out.

223. You were the sperm that won?”, 23.

“I’m not sarcastic. If it looks like I give a damn, please tell me. Ever wish to be honest without hurting somebody’s feelings?

Some of us just choose not to post them on Facebook. 174. 92. Your flexibility amazes me. 159.

Subscribe To Our Newsletter! The chief excitement in a woman's life is spotting women who are fatter than she is. “Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.”, 53. 48. Sarcastic Quotes; Only two things change in your life. When you’re sad you understand the lyrics.”, 7.

Expect nothing and you’ll never be disappointed!

I thought I had seen the pinnacle of stupid.

Trust me, I personally search for epic relationship quotes to pinch and tease my lady.

I would hate to be wasteful.
You’ve managed to make me feel like a worthless piece of shit again.

“Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.”, 31. 193. BuzzFeed Staff, UK. Sarcastic Quotes 1. 216. Life gets easy when you read such nice and amazing quotes every day. 28.

If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments. 30.

Worry about why you’re worried about what I’m doing.

56. Some of these were so funny I forgot to laugh. You always do me a favor, when you shut up! You have no one to blame but yourself. Oh. I had shoes like those once.

I don’t want to give off the wrong impression.


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